Well its come to the end of another fantastic adventure of globe tackling, although this one was predominantly Western Europe and Netherlands based. Although the weather has been a nightmare and my year has essentially boiled down to 3 seasons instead of 4 (2 falls), I really loved being in the motherland. Being Dutch and doing as they do has been a nice culture change from the bustling city. I have gained a firm grip on the language, although I still speak broken Dutch, I can understand it with near perfection. The random festivals with cheap beer, techno trances, fresh markets at every corner and parades will be missed. It´s gonna be tough to say goodbye to the toilet shelf’s, which are essentially inspection decks of for your poop (its more fun than you would think).The Dutch specialties like food, drink, and “coffee” were incredible and I am going to really miss enjoying my French fries with a mayonnaise, breakfast buffet of bread and spreads, and sparkling ice tea. Withdrawal will not be easy on my body as I will have to say goodbye to Grolsch and Jupiler, mini pancakes, stroopwafels, and fresh fish from the market. I am dreading my first trip back to Subway. At least I still have fried spaghetti.
Some things I learned about the Dutch:
- Dutch dinner is between 530 and 7. Restaurants wont serve you after 9-9:30
- The Dutch are not surprised whatsoever with the weather no matter how shitty.
- Dutch people unnecessarily belong to gyms. They bike so much that they don’t need them. They use gyms for the spa.
- The older and more worn down your bike is the less chance it will be stolen.
- The Dutch will throw planned parties anywhere, at anytime, for anything, but always ends by 1 latest. (Bars, coffeshops, and clubs open all night)
- It doesn’t matter how beautiful it may be out, it will rain, and soon.
- They are the nicest to tourists as a whole than any other country I’ve ever been in.
- When in doubt do as the dutch do, find a café and get a drink or a coffee…then stay there for hours.
- Dinner doesn’t end after the plates are cleared, expect to have to ask for the check after your required twenty minute wait.
- They are too friendly. One man walked past me and told me to enjoy my lunch, another a woman asked me if I had taken nice pictures. Both were complete strangers.
This will be my last blog under this address as you can find my work going forward on either foxxtacklesthecity.blogspot.com or Tradedebate.com (Launching early September) With the launch of my new website, Tradedebate, I will probably be blogging less in coming months as most if not all of my writing and time will be dedicated to building a successful site as my two partners and I are attempting to revolutionize fantasy sports trading by offering a completely new and innovative platform. Below is a description of my new site:
TradeDebate.com is a free fantasy trade evaluation site created in order to help fantasy sports managers make tough decisions when making trades. Whether it be a trade that you have made or are contemplating making, the Trade Debate nation will examine your trade and vote on what they would do had it been their own team. Trade Debate offers a comprehensive database that tracks every trade, the players who have been traded, and who they are being traded for. With this knowledge fantasy owners can gauge the value of their players worth, and the market in which those players are being traded for.
Once your trade is posted, it will immediately be given a 48 hour window in which the Trade Debate community will vote for which side they would rather have. You will then receive an email after the 48 hour poll period ends with the results of your trade and comments attached. With that, you can decide whether this is the right trade for you.
Trade Debate also offers free fantasy articles discussing trades, players, strategies and tips, polls and waiver wire advice. We also offer a message board to not only talk about all things fantasy, but smack talk your friends and their horrible trade offers.
We present free evaluation, information, and analysis in the fantasy trading community. Tradedebate.com is a place to receive and give free fantasy trade advice and insight so you can have a better chance to win your league!
A little self promotion and free advertising never hurt anyone, and I write this not just to hopefully steal more of your internet time (I plan on it), but also to say thank you for the time you have already given me. I have had many compliments, some from people I don´t even know, about this blog and it encourages me to keep writing. I do believe that my writing has improved the past two years, although my titles certainly have not, and I have been a bit more focused as well, and I´m gonna need it. The writing I will be doing for the site will be less diary or journal based as you have, but rather fantasy sports based articles and features. Although they may be more information based you are sure to see my writing style in all its witty, self deprecating, pop culturely glory coming out from time to time. So again, thank you for reading and I hope you continue on the new site as well as follow my blog at Foxxtacklesthecity.blogspot.com.
Before I go though and make sweet beautiful music in the fantasy community I thought lets bring a piece of it to this blog. Before the madness of fantasy football starts I thought that we should take a look back to when this whole traveling the globe thing first began view them like seasons. So let’s have some fun with Split stats shall we. Split stats to the none sports fans out there are the breaking down of player´s in game statistics but viewing them in specific sample sizes, in this case by year. Without further ado a look at the trends.
Wearing shorts
2009 2010 2011
85% 98% 4%
Fantasy Analysis: Normally a 92% percent shorts wearer in the summer, Foxx’s average took a severe dip this summer. Before we panic and start calling him Adam Done lets remember that he played his vacation almost entirely at home, thus subsequent to the poor ballpark and inability to raise his pct. We think it’s a fluke though and expect his average to go back to the norm next summer.
Books Read
2009 2010 2011
11 13 9
Fantasy Analysis: Yes, the drop in books read at first glance is very alarming. The expectation was a third year breakout of fifteen was even being talked about in certain circles so to put up only nine was definitely disappointing. What’s not talked about though is the girth. The length of some of the books read were longer than in past and the highly addictive nature of I Touch games. Foxx has already told his readers than he is committed to double digits minimum next year.
Countries Traveled
2009 2010 2011
11 6 3
Fantasy Analysis: Every traveler has a regression, and this one is no different. It was the end of a 3 year contract with Europe, throw in an apt. swap, and Foxx kinda cruised this vacation. A lot of mornings without an alarm clock. Unfortunately we don’t see Foxx putting up 2009 numbers again in the near future. Sigh.
Countries Traveled
2009 2010 2011
11 6 3
Things lost or broken
2009 2010 2011
1 2 1
Fantasy Analysis: Not much to see here. Foxx loses and breaks stuff, then usually he writes about it.
Blogs Written
2009 2010 2011
0 11 7
Fantasy Analysis: Like Milli Vanille was claimed “Blame it on the Rain“. Bad weather brings less stories and stuff to do, which makes his life less interesting, and his blogs more boring. At least they are both sharp increases since 2009.
Thanks again for reading, see ya on the other side of the pond.
As always, Aloha means goodbye
– Foxx
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Don't be a drag, just be a queen.
Where were you when Mr. Gay Netherlands was announced? Wherever you were you missed a glorious twink named Tom get crowned the best looking gay male in the country. His trophy? Techno. That´s every Euro´s prize whenever a festival commences. When in doubt, pump those hard core beats and let the techno orgy take over. Why does everything always end in a techno party anyway? I know European’s love techno more than mayo on french fries but I thought that all the gays want for their Christmas is Mariah Carey.
Gay pride weekend is every homosexual´s X-mas, and at the least very happy place to be. All the fags there were smoked, or smoking hot depending on how you view the word while subsequently turning Amsterdam the color rainbow. Although Holland only has one queen, this weekend there were thousands. A city wide party that was basically an ode to Gaga as everyone is beautiful in their own way so everyone should know that they were born this way. It was truly something else as all wakes of life flooded the streets wearing less than the most of the girls.
The best part of the weekend (besides the Techno in drag) was the gay pride canal parade. Thousands of people filled the canals to watch 72 ultra gay boats pull through the Prinsegracht canal. They had a boat for everything: gay cops, positive and proud, young and gay, gay in the military, gay superheroes, gay dance teams, and even the gay youtube channel. Sounds impossible right? I have footage to prove it. Unfortunately stupid blogger isn´t letting me post any of them. It was big, it was gay, it was an experience.
Ok, truth be told the real best part of my weekend was when this super hot gay guy winked and pointed at me. I know I shouldn´t get excited about a man eye flirting with me, but you know what, it felt good. Gay guys are notoriously the better looking of the two sexuals, so the fact that I was even in the conversation increases my self esteem more than it should. I get why gay guys like me though, I´m a bear. I am big, hairy, muscular (it´s my blog!), and have great hair (again, my blog).
I had an incredible summer, but when people ask me one of the things that I did I will have to say that I rode a girls bike in a sweatshirt in the middle of august on the way to a concert that may or may not have been popular in the mid 80's in a town that most people in Amsterdam have never heard.
37 minutes later: Leaving this horrible concert was thankfully welcomed by the usual sight of cold weather and rain that was actually better than the show itself. If it wasn't for the Napoleon Dynamite clone I would have left 36 minutes before that. Instead of spending the evening with Good Charlotte I choose to send us to the east of Holland to an obscure concert set in a town that has residual memories from my childhood.
To be a little philosophical here, that's the beauty of traveling though, you win some and you lose some. Sometimes you end up in Hengelo, sometimes you get pointed and winked at by a gay male, but regardless of the highs or lows its the adventure that counts. Life´s a mess, we are just doing the best we can to make the most of it..A very unwise traveler once said: if anything, you get a good story.
I´m back in Amsterdam now, safely away from suckiness, and off to a traveling festival that has a silent disco. I hope their playing techno.
Aloha means goodbye folks.
- Foxx
Quick Bonus Random Tangent:
Broke my 2nd camera in 3 years on vacation, with the third camera being ruined by my mother. Sigh.
Spent a few days on the far west of Holland in a very tiny beach town, its always a funny feeling being on the edge of a country and being the only ones who are American. And it´s not just because you are always being looked at, but because you so far connected from everything that seems routine.
I met a follower traveler who brought new meaning to the term “Nurse a beer”. This guy didn´t only nurse it, but he sang it a bed time story and tucked it in for bed. Good guy, but he started drinking a beer at midnight, carried it all the way back to the apartment, nurse, sing, tuck, and eighteen hours later took it out of the fridge and finished it. Didn´t even bother asking how it tasted, rather how can I be such a good father like you.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
"Everyday feels like a Holiday"
I don't know many Warren Haynes songs, actually I don't know any other than Soulshine which I am pretty sure is a cover, but I do know this: Ludicris believes that Everyday is a HOEliday, and Haynes sings that Everyday feels like a holiday. For me though, in a way being a reverse camp counselor does make everyday a holiday because of my lack of agenda, alarm clock, and overall urgency. It?s going to be a rough road to recovery in early September, but for now holidays happens 7 days a week. Today?s is going to be called Senor Blog Day. Why? because the only thing stopping me from going to the beach in a little bit is Maneer Blog. So it?s his day, or at least his morning, plus Faux Fall is back raining vengeance of precipitation and grey. Tomorrow will be what will I wear for halloween day. So I went to the Warren Haynes concert last night, you probably haven't heard of him unless your either in Southern rock or jam but he has played with the Allman Brothers and The Dead for many years and is the lead guitarist of Gov?t Mule. I had never paid to see a concert in another country, and he is one of the sickest guitarists I've ever heard, so I figured why not. It was ear candy is the truest sense as Mr. Haynes isn?t the most attractive man to look at, and his guitar roadie might have been his brother, but man can that guy wail on an ax. Do you know the only place you can't smoke pot in Amsterdam? The Paradiso in Leidseplein. Which just happens to be an old church turned into a concert hall. Awesome venue though, really cool to see a concert inside a church. ahh the Dutch legally smoke your joints outside please, then come back in for 3 dollar beers, all while being as polite as possible.
Spent the past few days in Rotterdam during Carnival. If Gent taught me anything it was that this was an event not to miss. I wasn't not going to miss the smoking, drinking, and chocolate milk before it hit the ground. I expected thousands of Nederlanders that looked exactly like me, Dutch pop songs, and as much Chocamel as I could drink. Well only one of those things came true: the chocolate milk. Instead we walked into the Caribbean version of "Drumline" minus Nick Cannon. I'm all over fesitvals, esp ones that are sponsored by Ferdinand the Bull, but even I felt a bit out of place when one of the hottest women I saw had a flat top. Regardless of gender this was one of the best flat tops I have ever seen, and would have been the best haircut if not for the boy with the shaved head and party in the back dreadlocks. Imagine a mullet with a bald cap on top of it, that's the style he was rocking (and pulling off). It wouldn't be a Caribbean extravaganza without steel drums though, and no amount of pouring rain can take me away from music that I moderately enjoy in small doses.
Friday night brought the battle of drums in very inclement weather where we spent the evening guzzling Heinekins, eating surinamese food and trying to figure out what tune they were playing....I think I heard a lot of usher. The drums were entertaining, but not nearly as incredible as watching the dancing. It was a mosh pit of gyrating hips, fist pumps and Axel Rose type snake moves...and that was just the guys. I really didn't want to leave but rules say when your the only white people left its time to leave. The second day and night however was a whole different atmosphere. Starting with a never ending parade of culture that lasted at least 6 hours and did multiple laps around the city. It was as if the members of the parade were all forced to do the subsequent night after walk of shame after Halloween. Some were pulling it off and had some sense of dignity, many wore costumes 3 sizes too small, and some were never meant to see daylight. As far as extravagant costumes go it was a cornacopia of color, but the people underneath the costumes were the real monsters. Mix in an a few awkward token white kids just to include the honkeys, a bunch of toddlers in tiaras, and repetitive beat that is some sort of salsa infused techno and we have a parade that was a one good microphone away from a revolution. Someone always has to ruin the party though, and after a crazy afternoon of heavy partying and even heavier woman nightfall casts its wicked shadow on those crazy caribs. In just 2 days the garbage was worse than the 10 days that Gent allowed its citizens free reign of the city. When out of nowhere everyone starts running away from the main beer tent. I presumably should have done the same but I had just gotten a fresh beverage and wasn't willing to part with my new best friend. Instead, we venture closer to the action where we see this snookie looking creature take the square by storm. Blond snookie was inciting a riot, fighting her boyfriend, and smoking fresh cigarettes all while bowling ball her way into people. Next thing you know the po are on horses and clubs are out. Snooki is throwing herself at anyone she can find (sexually of course), caribs are hurling beer fueled expletives at them, cops are using their clubs, and a woman even punched a horse. All the while I sat 10 feet away enjoying the action. The dutch woman next to me said it best "when they don't listen, they have to be told." Awesome night.
Finally, I asked laura how many times I would have to fry spaghetti as my dinner before i was forced mention it in my blog. The answer was 3. Don't knock it till you try it.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
The Blog of Eli
In a world that lacks sunlight, requires heavy jackets, televises Hard Rain, and then rains harder, one man blogs alone. In a post apocalyptic world that was once named summer a young man struggles to survive without a jacket.
(And just like that this blog is already better than The Green Lantern)
It's getting harder to tell day from night, a cloudy haze surrounds me, and the people all around me stare off into space, wait, that's only when I'm inside. It's even worse outside though, as an evil villain named Faux Fall lurks in a shade of grey menacing society with its perpetually shitty weather. Faux Fall's special abilities include entirely grey skies, 24 hour rain storms, and temperatures that you would normally set for your ac unit. Faux Fall's nemesis is the sun, but Fall's army of cloud cronies has him captured between a jail of lightning bolts and Fran Drescher. It wasn't always like this, I remember (see last years blog) a time when Europe was free from Fall's empire, and we were led by the fair and noble Sun. He alternated hot and cold, cooled me down when I needed it, and tanned a nation. Those were the days man, now its like an endless rerun of Who's the boss. We get it, you're both Angela and Tony. Also I am running out of ways to rephrase a very sarcastic "Well Ladies and Gents, its another beautiful day." If only Captain America would arrive, he would destroy Faux Fall, look good doing it, and give me 2 hours to hide from him before reality sets back in. As a true traveling superhero though, I still put an S on my chest and endure double F with a brave face.
The apartment swap worked out well though as it is a very cute Dutch house. 2 cats have mysteriously become one however. I don't want to say Kiku's dead but I need a orangish browinish creature that resembles a cat by August 16. I know the other cats fine because the darn thing never leaves my side...but I guess that's what happens when you carry around a leash.
One reason to become a mathlete, the international math olympics are held in Amsterdam. I get the trade off, and go nerds, seriously, awesome pay out.
Quick math: How many hookers does it take to get an STD?
Answer: infinite, they are all tested. Who's the math whiz now?
Speaking of prostitutes, its very ironic that the oldest church in Holland (The Oude Kerk) is situated right in the heart of the red light district.
So I saw the 7th Harry Potter, partly because of Faux Fall and partly out of interest. Now I thought the love had gone a little too far, esp. When I read that people were having mourning parties for the end of the series. I read and enjoyed the books, some more than others, but never really fell in love with any of the movies except the first. For the record, my favorite books of the series were 1,4 and 7. My biggest problem with both the books and the movies is that the first 2 hours is a preclude to the eventual showdown with Voldemort. This movie is no different of course but purely from a film making standpoint it was excellent. The hype was true, I was into the movie the entire time, the special effects were strong, and the characters didn't ham it up like children as they do in the previous movies. You can easily read a wikipedia introduction and enjoy this movie. I expected this to be a netflix or if I have no other choice type movie but I was pleasantly surprised. It was a very entertaining flick overall and a strong end to the series. Excuse me for a minute, I must mourn Voldemort, he was my favorite character you silly muggles.
In order to try and escape Faux Fall we have spent the past few days in Belgium. A previous blog goes in depth about this wondrous second Dutch country, and if you even try it says it has French influence or uses Flemish I will smack you with....well nothing because if I had a waffle in my hand I would eat it not waste it slapping you.
It was nice to be back in Brugge, but you forget how small it is.
First hour: Let's live here!
2nd hour: its so pretty
4th hour: well we've done the city
6th hour: wanna go back to the dueling French Fry guys. Ill take the left.
8th hour: What belgium beer are we on?
12th hour:" In Brugge" doesn't run on a continuous loop? Damn.
24th hour: How soon can we leave.
To Brugge's credit, the food and bars are awesome and the city is gorgeous. Its also the size of Jenny Mcarthy post pregnancy....Brugge is probably smaller actually.
From Brugge we went to Gent. Which is what the locals call "The Not tourist Brugge" and I think I would have loved it if we weren't a day late, and a euro short. Apparently Gent had just completed a ten day festival where people partied until....well we arrived. The first thing I saw was a group of backpackers bailing out their buddy. Immediately I'm thinking this place is totally for me, if Peter Pan doesn't want to grow up neither do I. We knew we were in trouble though when the garbage was more interesting than the city. Surrounding us hundreds of immensely hungover people took down all of the fun. Even the Hostel owner looked like it took all of what was left of his energy just to unlock the door.
Foxx: This sucks, everything I want to do in this city is already on the floor.
Ms. Foxx: You mean beer, butts and hot dogs.
Foxx: Don't forget the chocolate milk over there.
I felt like the guy who comes to the party a day late, parks himself next to the leftover keg, and started bumping Black Eyed Peas while everyone else cleans up the mess.
Gent has a specific type of candy. It is considered “ The Nose” of Gent and is shaped like a big purple triangle and tastes like a gusher juiced on roids. Yup, I wont remember the awesome 10 day festival but instead I´ll have the memories of grape nose candy and eating turkish pizza twice in one day. Thanks Gent, you were more disapointing than Shwayze´s second cd. That´s right Shwayze, he´s my favorite rapper.
Not sure if this song hit US yet because I saw it on a Coke Commercial, but check out Open Happiness with Cee Lo, Patrick Stump and Butch Walker. Very Summery.
Now back to your regularly schedule pornography surfing while I continue praying to sun gods. Just one day, that's all I ask, one day.
Holy Canoli I see blue. In 2011, a visible mass of water droplets or frozen ice crystals suspended in the atmosphere above the surface of the Earth burned through our civilization, pushing humankind to the edge of anarchy. Dr. Foxx Lang dedicated his blog to the discovery of a cure and the restoration of humanity. On July 27, 2011, at approximately 3:49 P.M., he discovered that cure. And at 3:52, he gave his blog to defend it. We are his legacy. This is his legend. Light up the grey.
(And just like that this blog is already better than The Green Lantern)
It's getting harder to tell day from night, a cloudy haze surrounds me, and the people all around me stare off into space, wait, that's only when I'm inside. It's even worse outside though, as an evil villain named Faux Fall lurks in a shade of grey menacing society with its perpetually shitty weather. Faux Fall's special abilities include entirely grey skies, 24 hour rain storms, and temperatures that you would normally set for your ac unit. Faux Fall's nemesis is the sun, but Fall's army of cloud cronies has him captured between a jail of lightning bolts and Fran Drescher. It wasn't always like this, I remember (see last years blog) a time when Europe was free from Fall's empire, and we were led by the fair and noble Sun. He alternated hot and cold, cooled me down when I needed it, and tanned a nation. Those were the days man, now its like an endless rerun of Who's the boss. We get it, you're both Angela and Tony. Also I am running out of ways to rephrase a very sarcastic "Well Ladies and Gents, its another beautiful day." If only Captain America would arrive, he would destroy Faux Fall, look good doing it, and give me 2 hours to hide from him before reality sets back in. As a true traveling superhero though, I still put an S on my chest and endure double F with a brave face.
The apartment swap worked out well though as it is a very cute Dutch house. 2 cats have mysteriously become one however. I don't want to say Kiku's dead but I need a orangish browinish creature that resembles a cat by August 16. I know the other cats fine because the darn thing never leaves my side...but I guess that's what happens when you carry around a leash.
One reason to become a mathlete, the international math olympics are held in Amsterdam. I get the trade off, and go nerds, seriously, awesome pay out.
Quick math: How many hookers does it take to get an STD?
Answer: infinite, they are all tested. Who's the math whiz now?
Speaking of prostitutes, its very ironic that the oldest church in Holland (The Oude Kerk) is situated right in the heart of the red light district.
So I saw the 7th Harry Potter, partly because of Faux Fall and partly out of interest. Now I thought the love had gone a little too far, esp. When I read that people were having mourning parties for the end of the series. I read and enjoyed the books, some more than others, but never really fell in love with any of the movies except the first. For the record, my favorite books of the series were 1,4 and 7. My biggest problem with both the books and the movies is that the first 2 hours is a preclude to the eventual showdown with Voldemort. This movie is no different of course but purely from a film making standpoint it was excellent. The hype was true, I was into the movie the entire time, the special effects were strong, and the characters didn't ham it up like children as they do in the previous movies. You can easily read a wikipedia introduction and enjoy this movie. I expected this to be a netflix or if I have no other choice type movie but I was pleasantly surprised. It was a very entertaining flick overall and a strong end to the series. Excuse me for a minute, I must mourn Voldemort, he was my favorite character you silly muggles.
In order to try and escape Faux Fall we have spent the past few days in Belgium. A previous blog goes in depth about this wondrous second Dutch country, and if you even try it says it has French influence or uses Flemish I will smack you with....well nothing because if I had a waffle in my hand I would eat it not waste it slapping you.
It was nice to be back in Brugge, but you forget how small it is.
First hour: Let's live here!
2nd hour: its so pretty
4th hour: well we've done the city
6th hour: wanna go back to the dueling French Fry guys. Ill take the left.
8th hour: What belgium beer are we on?
12th hour:" In Brugge" doesn't run on a continuous loop? Damn.
24th hour: How soon can we leave.
To Brugge's credit, the food and bars are awesome and the city is gorgeous. Its also the size of Jenny Mcarthy post pregnancy....Brugge is probably smaller actually.
From Brugge we went to Gent. Which is what the locals call "The Not tourist Brugge" and I think I would have loved it if we weren't a day late, and a euro short. Apparently Gent had just completed a ten day festival where people partied until....well we arrived. The first thing I saw was a group of backpackers bailing out their buddy. Immediately I'm thinking this place is totally for me, if Peter Pan doesn't want to grow up neither do I. We knew we were in trouble though when the garbage was more interesting than the city. Surrounding us hundreds of immensely hungover people took down all of the fun. Even the Hostel owner looked like it took all of what was left of his energy just to unlock the door.
Foxx: This sucks, everything I want to do in this city is already on the floor.
Ms. Foxx: You mean beer, butts and hot dogs.
Foxx: Don't forget the chocolate milk over there.
I felt like the guy who comes to the party a day late, parks himself next to the leftover keg, and started bumping Black Eyed Peas while everyone else cleans up the mess.
Gent has a specific type of candy. It is considered “ The Nose” of Gent and is shaped like a big purple triangle and tastes like a gusher juiced on roids. Yup, I wont remember the awesome 10 day festival but instead I´ll have the memories of grape nose candy and eating turkish pizza twice in one day. Thanks Gent, you were more disapointing than Shwayze´s second cd. That´s right Shwayze, he´s my favorite rapper.
Not sure if this song hit US yet because I saw it on a Coke Commercial, but check out Open Happiness with Cee Lo, Patrick Stump and Butch Walker. Very Summery.
Now back to your regularly schedule pornography surfing while I continue praying to sun gods. Just one day, that's all I ask, one day.
Holy Canoli I see blue. In 2011, a visible mass of water droplets or frozen ice crystals suspended in the atmosphere above the surface of the Earth burned through our civilization, pushing humankind to the edge of anarchy. Dr. Foxx Lang dedicated his blog to the discovery of a cure and the restoration of humanity. On July 27, 2011, at approximately 3:49 P.M., he discovered that cure. And at 3:52, he gave his blog to defend it. We are his legacy. This is his legend. Light up the grey.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Rain Rain go away, so I can go outside and blog another day
Its another rainy day in Holland, but thats Dutch weather for you, and one thing you can count on with the Dutch is rainy summers and the famous Dutch sunlight. It is very frustrating to plan your day around the next rainstorm, and eventually you just get fed up and walk through it. Doesn´t make the sites any less magestical, well actually it does, but what can you do. Do what the Dutch do, bike through it. Did you know that part of this blog was written on bicycle? 1 percent of it. And with that we enter the nonsense.
Laura says I can talk to anyone, partially because my of inate ability to be charming at all facets of conversation (ego dropper), but also by my necessity to speak sports all day everday. I am even in process of launching a sports based site just so I can write about sports. Sports, Sports, Sports, that all you ever talk about...Ryan Braun is my cousin this...Ive decided im into Tour De France that...you can control yourself. Sorry, Laura took a hold of the keyboard there for a second. Why do I love sports though? It has certainly been a losing endeavour, in which I mean I am not a pro athlete (rec superstar counts for something) nor have I gone positive for my lifetime when gambling (its coming though, I can feel it, I´ll take Padres the over), but I am equally as hooked to all things sports as Meatloafs is to fantasy football....and probably meatloaf.
So what happens when you find yourself in a small Dutch town (Utrecht) with no one to talk to other than your soulmate, which btw if she is reading this really needs to spend more time on ESPN.com and less time doing, well anything else, and you´re running low on topics. What do I do, go on the internet, and what do I find there? (Don´t answer that) but a Russian, I´m going to call him Gare (pronounced Gary), who did not speak any English. I do not speak any Russian, but thanks to google translator I now know that Gare is a Hockey trainor who has trained Alexi Kovalev, Evgeni Nabokov, Alexander Semin, and Ilya Kovalchuk. I deduced this mostly through his high pitched voice, hand motions, and ice hockey type sounds he was making. If Jason Statham is The Transporter, I am The Translator....ok google was for the most part, but the point still stands. I can talk sports with anyone. Deaf mute? lets draw pictures of basketball hoops. 5 year old Dutch boy, lets don the orange and start yelling gooooaaalllllll. 14 year old nerdy girl, lets talk some qudditch. I don´t know much about this quirky Russian, but I do know he was supremely disapointed with Kovalev´s time with the Rangers (so was I) and wears the worlds ugliest hockey jersery (err sweater) in Europe. I don´t want to humblebrag here, but I am the greatest conversationalist on less than meaningful, surface filled, slow pacedm and broken language(s) conversations. Stick it Hedo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8_3JbyjfO0)
A big reason I choose to spend my summer in AMS, other than the ability to do highly illegal and illicit activities legally (Jaywalking comes to mind), but also to improve linguistically. That was our vocab word of the days boys and girls; ill now go back to the usual simple sentences, slang, mispelling, and uncanny ability to overuse explanation marks!!! It is an absoultely beauitful city seperated by canals, mostly friendy faces, and a thousand things to do. I love taking pictures here as they hide my deficiences of being a horrible photpgrapher with the exquisite scenery and the way the Dutch live which is so different than what we are used to. Traveling on bike is obviously a must for me when in the city, so clearly adaption to the way of life isn´t a problem, and the food is incredible and the biking hopefully minimizes the damage. The one struggle to becoming full Dutch however though is that I butcher this very difficult language constantly. Thankfully the Dutch love just to hear me try and humor my ridiculous attempt to perfect a combination of English and German. I am very good at ordering food and drink, and saying Ik prat kaput Nedelands (I speak broken Dutch). Although I am learning, and I believe that by the end of the summer I will be somewhat conversational (just bring up sports duh), but as of now its Panic in Needle Park (Great early Pacino flick btw for the movie nerds out there) whenever I am asked to do more than order fries or a beer.
An example of a typical dutch conversation for me.
Nederlander: Halo, what can I get you
Foxx: (memorized) I will have frietja met (Fries with mayo) and twee Piljs (two beers)
Nederlander: Anything else?
Foxx: (panicking) Nay. (Phew, although I did want some napkins...crap)
Nederlander: No problem and walks away
Comes back with beers
Nederlander: Here you go, and usually another question
Foxx: (sweating) Dankuwel (TY) Maneer and two napkins (Yes! got it! He thinks im dutch)
Nederlander: No problem (in English) that will be 5 euros (again in English)
Foxx: Crap I thought I was doing so well.
Nederlander: Well it was really good. (lying)
Foxx: No it wasn´t.
Nederlander: I know. Doy! (happy goodbye)
Foxx: (turning to others) ok! well that was an improvement.
I´m in Amsterdam now, but I spent a few days in Utrecht, which was a very cute city centered around a 467 foot cathedral. I was winded after step 2, and those were the stairs where the doors led you in. It´s also special to be in a city that was built around a church and expanded from that location. Anyway it was a nice way to spend a few days and meet some very interesting people. Like most Dutch cities it is filled with canals, bikes, and redone colonial houses, and I loved being there, except for the incredible Utrecht Light Tour. Yes, you read that correctly, a tour of lights, rather a self led tour where you follow the lights around the city. Even in theory it sounds ridiculous. Here is a light tour of New York, start at one end of Times Square, walk to the other, tour over. Well this "Light Tour" took you all over the city of Utrecht with one uninspiring relfection of light after another. Half of them were even turned on, the others broken, and the only one that was actually picture worthy you would need hard drugs to enjoy. The light tour was so bad that the girls I was with decided to take pictures of their shadows instead, oh wait, that was me. What made me think that spending an even following light at night (can you say street lights) instead of being in a bar, thankfully those stay open almost as late as the lights do and was the best part of the tour. Note to self, start following: stray cats, dark alleys, interesting smells. stop following: lights
With apartment swaps you never know exactly what you are gonna get, but I think we lucked out. Trading a 3 bedroom home in Amsterdam for a 1 bedroom NYC apartment doesn´t seem like the most even trade, but that´s why TradeDebate.com is gonna launch in late August. Well, I guess the NYC factor evens it out though, otherwise how else is a family four expected to really "see" the city rather than just do the tourists things. As strange as it is so sleep in someone elses bed, its even more strange trying to talk to their neighbors. Remember, in NYC your neighbors don´t actually exist but rather are moving pods that you are forced to talk to during painful elevator rides. I am loving this cat garden however, in which I mean a garden full of cats. Feral cats everywhere, oh the horror! I hate spending my afternoons expanding my mind around hundreds (ok 4) of cats just waiting to spend time with me. Having a backyard during the summer is incredible, and the cat bonus makes me drink (and share) triple the amount of milk and cheese. Well, its time to do Dutch things now, you´ve been great.
Aloha means goodbye folks.
-Foxx
Laura says I can talk to anyone, partially because my of inate ability to be charming at all facets of conversation (ego dropper), but also by my necessity to speak sports all day everday. I am even in process of launching a sports based site just so I can write about sports. Sports, Sports, Sports, that all you ever talk about...Ryan Braun is my cousin this...Ive decided im into Tour De France that...you can control yourself. Sorry, Laura took a hold of the keyboard there for a second. Why do I love sports though? It has certainly been a losing endeavour, in which I mean I am not a pro athlete (rec superstar counts for something) nor have I gone positive for my lifetime when gambling (its coming though, I can feel it, I´ll take Padres the over), but I am equally as hooked to all things sports as Meatloafs is to fantasy football....and probably meatloaf.
So what happens when you find yourself in a small Dutch town (Utrecht) with no one to talk to other than your soulmate, which btw if she is reading this really needs to spend more time on ESPN.com and less time doing, well anything else, and you´re running low on topics. What do I do, go on the internet, and what do I find there? (Don´t answer that) but a Russian, I´m going to call him Gare (pronounced Gary), who did not speak any English. I do not speak any Russian, but thanks to google translator I now know that Gare is a Hockey trainor who has trained Alexi Kovalev, Evgeni Nabokov, Alexander Semin, and Ilya Kovalchuk. I deduced this mostly through his high pitched voice, hand motions, and ice hockey type sounds he was making. If Jason Statham is The Transporter, I am The Translator....ok google was for the most part, but the point still stands. I can talk sports with anyone. Deaf mute? lets draw pictures of basketball hoops. 5 year old Dutch boy, lets don the orange and start yelling gooooaaalllllll. 14 year old nerdy girl, lets talk some qudditch. I don´t know much about this quirky Russian, but I do know he was supremely disapointed with Kovalev´s time with the Rangers (so was I) and wears the worlds ugliest hockey jersery (err sweater) in Europe. I don´t want to humblebrag here, but I am the greatest conversationalist on less than meaningful, surface filled, slow pacedm and broken language(s) conversations. Stick it Hedo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8_3JbyjfO0)
A big reason I choose to spend my summer in AMS, other than the ability to do highly illegal and illicit activities legally (Jaywalking comes to mind), but also to improve linguistically. That was our vocab word of the days boys and girls; ill now go back to the usual simple sentences, slang, mispelling, and uncanny ability to overuse explanation marks!!! It is an absoultely beauitful city seperated by canals, mostly friendy faces, and a thousand things to do. I love taking pictures here as they hide my deficiences of being a horrible photpgrapher with the exquisite scenery and the way the Dutch live which is so different than what we are used to. Traveling on bike is obviously a must for me when in the city, so clearly adaption to the way of life isn´t a problem, and the food is incredible and the biking hopefully minimizes the damage. The one struggle to becoming full Dutch however though is that I butcher this very difficult language constantly. Thankfully the Dutch love just to hear me try and humor my ridiculous attempt to perfect a combination of English and German. I am very good at ordering food and drink, and saying Ik prat kaput Nedelands (I speak broken Dutch). Although I am learning, and I believe that by the end of the summer I will be somewhat conversational (just bring up sports duh), but as of now its Panic in Needle Park (Great early Pacino flick btw for the movie nerds out there) whenever I am asked to do more than order fries or a beer.
An example of a typical dutch conversation for me.
Nederlander: Halo, what can I get you
Foxx: (memorized) I will have frietja met (Fries with mayo) and twee Piljs (two beers)
Nederlander: Anything else?
Foxx: (panicking) Nay. (Phew, although I did want some napkins...crap)
Nederlander: No problem and walks away
Comes back with beers
Nederlander: Here you go, and usually another question
Foxx: (sweating) Dankuwel (TY) Maneer and two napkins (Yes! got it! He thinks im dutch)
Nederlander: No problem (in English) that will be 5 euros (again in English)
Foxx: Crap I thought I was doing so well.
Nederlander: Well it was really good. (lying)
Foxx: No it wasn´t.
Nederlander: I know. Doy! (happy goodbye)
Foxx: (turning to others) ok! well that was an improvement.
I´m in Amsterdam now, but I spent a few days in Utrecht, which was a very cute city centered around a 467 foot cathedral. I was winded after step 2, and those were the stairs where the doors led you in. It´s also special to be in a city that was built around a church and expanded from that location. Anyway it was a nice way to spend a few days and meet some very interesting people. Like most Dutch cities it is filled with canals, bikes, and redone colonial houses, and I loved being there, except for the incredible Utrecht Light Tour. Yes, you read that correctly, a tour of lights, rather a self led tour where you follow the lights around the city. Even in theory it sounds ridiculous. Here is a light tour of New York, start at one end of Times Square, walk to the other, tour over. Well this "Light Tour" took you all over the city of Utrecht with one uninspiring relfection of light after another. Half of them were even turned on, the others broken, and the only one that was actually picture worthy you would need hard drugs to enjoy. The light tour was so bad that the girls I was with decided to take pictures of their shadows instead, oh wait, that was me. What made me think that spending an even following light at night (can you say street lights) instead of being in a bar, thankfully those stay open almost as late as the lights do and was the best part of the tour. Note to self, start following: stray cats, dark alleys, interesting smells. stop following: lights
With apartment swaps you never know exactly what you are gonna get, but I think we lucked out. Trading a 3 bedroom home in Amsterdam for a 1 bedroom NYC apartment doesn´t seem like the most even trade, but that´s why TradeDebate.com is gonna launch in late August. Well, I guess the NYC factor evens it out though, otherwise how else is a family four expected to really "see" the city rather than just do the tourists things. As strange as it is so sleep in someone elses bed, its even more strange trying to talk to their neighbors. Remember, in NYC your neighbors don´t actually exist but rather are moving pods that you are forced to talk to during painful elevator rides. I am loving this cat garden however, in which I mean a garden full of cats. Feral cats everywhere, oh the horror! I hate spending my afternoons expanding my mind around hundreds (ok 4) of cats just waiting to spend time with me. Having a backyard during the summer is incredible, and the cat bonus makes me drink (and share) triple the amount of milk and cheese. Well, its time to do Dutch things now, you´ve been great.
Aloha means goodbye folks.
-Foxx
Sunday, July 17, 2011
From Paris with Blog
Oui Oui. Ahh Paris, a land of incredible crowds, even more impressive sites, and BO that could kill a big horse. Although there distaste of Americans has gotten better, in which I mean they tolerate their existence, nose however still upturned. Paris is the only city I have ever been to that hides it coolest places. Like Rome, they direct the thousands of tourists daily to 4 or 5 big locations, let a few hundred into the more obscure, and deny access to French society. Which by the way isn't really a way to live in the first place. And here comes our first list.
Ways to behave like French society:
-Smoke tons of cigarettes
-Eat your lunch while in movement
-Overpay for everything, and love it.
-Wear obscure clothing that doesn't fit the season
-Sound obnoxious (but possibly being polite)
-Grope people on the subway
-Follow 20 Vans or Trucks blasting techno down the street in an obscure hardcore parade on Bastille day.
I've seen a lot of things in my life, but the pathetic parade of people following van after van of hardcore techno (and bad techno...I think...I mean I didn't hear the Mortal Kombat theme or Zombie Nation) blasting at ear splitting levels. It wasn't just the sheer ridiculousness that this was even being allowed, but rather how into it these people were. Each van having its own crowd of loyal fans head banging and fist pumping their dirty fingers in hypnosis. Phew, I wasn't sure if I would have been able to check that one off my bucket list.
This was obviously a bit off the grid in the city, and totally worth it, but the rest of Paris is filled with tourists dying to see its greatest sites, and swift locals hawking the junk that they buy. Did you know that people are still falling for the game where you have to find the ball under the cup? Twenty years running and the general public still haven't figured it out its a scan, incredible. That's the ups and downs of the city though, awe inspiring highs, and very frustrating lows.
One of the most amazing structures I have ever witnessed though is the Eifell tower which made me feel very very small next to it. We spent one night watching fireworks on the 2nd level of the tower at sunset, which is 10:15 btw, and another amongst nearly a hundred thousand people celebrating Bastille day in the most impressive fireworks spectacular I have ever seen. I thought we were going to see a band...seriously...needless to say it was beyond awesome. Bastille Day + Eiffel tower you certainly deserve to make the 1000 things to do before you die book.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tq6FZENAS9w
If you ever left a Yankee game you know how horrible it is to take the 4 train back in Manhattan, now multiply that by 165 million (gross exaggeration) aka the same number Brussels choose to magnify a crystal and build what is now called The Atomium. I forgot to mention this in my past blog, but Belgium choose to magnify a crystal and then build what it would look like life size. I went in 5 of the 9 balls, yup this happened. Just stop reading now and google it, ill wait. Located right next to mini-Europe, this was choosen to be a major landmark of the country. Anyway, leaving the Eiffel Spectacular was the equivalent of dumping an entire barrel of jelly beans into a funnel. Sorry, that really should have been a pop culture reference, I must be tired. It was hot, smelly, uncomfortable and one of the worst hour and a half I have spent since sitting through Transformers 2.
The Tour DE France is going on, and although we didn't actually see it I enjoyed the countries fascination with watching endless hours of a crowd of people biking together. If you watch it long enough its just one big orgy of follow the leader, yet I'm hooked. Go Yellow....I think.
And finally:
My ranking of Paris, France and Paris related nouns:
1) The Eiffel Tower
2) French bread
3) Notre Dame
4) Schwepps Lemon drink
5) Champs Elysee and Arc D'Triomphe
6) Techno Parade
7) Pulp Fiction scene about a Royale with Cheese
8) Musee D'Orsay
9) From Paris with Love
10) Paris hilton
Sorry no pics, but randomness remains above, and with that I say au revoir to Paris and Hoy! to Holland. Time to be Dutch for a month.
As always, Aloha means goodbye for now.
- Foxx
Ways to behave like French society:
-Smoke tons of cigarettes
-Eat your lunch while in movement
-Overpay for everything, and love it.
-Wear obscure clothing that doesn't fit the season
-Sound obnoxious (but possibly being polite)
-Grope people on the subway
-Follow 20 Vans or Trucks blasting techno down the street in an obscure hardcore parade on Bastille day.
I've seen a lot of things in my life, but the pathetic parade of people following van after van of hardcore techno (and bad techno...I think...I mean I didn't hear the Mortal Kombat theme or Zombie Nation) blasting at ear splitting levels. It wasn't just the sheer ridiculousness that this was even being allowed, but rather how into it these people were. Each van having its own crowd of loyal fans head banging and fist pumping their dirty fingers in hypnosis. Phew, I wasn't sure if I would have been able to check that one off my bucket list.
This was obviously a bit off the grid in the city, and totally worth it, but the rest of Paris is filled with tourists dying to see its greatest sites, and swift locals hawking the junk that they buy. Did you know that people are still falling for the game where you have to find the ball under the cup? Twenty years running and the general public still haven't figured it out its a scan, incredible. That's the ups and downs of the city though, awe inspiring highs, and very frustrating lows.
One of the most amazing structures I have ever witnessed though is the Eifell tower which made me feel very very small next to it. We spent one night watching fireworks on the 2nd level of the tower at sunset, which is 10:15 btw, and another amongst nearly a hundred thousand people celebrating Bastille day in the most impressive fireworks spectacular I have ever seen. I thought we were going to see a band...seriously...needless to say it was beyond awesome. Bastille Day + Eiffel tower you certainly deserve to make the 1000 things to do before you die book.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tq6FZENAS9w
If you ever left a Yankee game you know how horrible it is to take the 4 train back in Manhattan, now multiply that by 165 million (gross exaggeration) aka the same number Brussels choose to magnify a crystal and build what is now called The Atomium. I forgot to mention this in my past blog, but Belgium choose to magnify a crystal and then build what it would look like life size. I went in 5 of the 9 balls, yup this happened. Just stop reading now and google it, ill wait. Located right next to mini-Europe, this was choosen to be a major landmark of the country. Anyway, leaving the Eiffel Spectacular was the equivalent of dumping an entire barrel of jelly beans into a funnel. Sorry, that really should have been a pop culture reference, I must be tired. It was hot, smelly, uncomfortable and one of the worst hour and a half I have spent since sitting through Transformers 2.
The Tour DE France is going on, and although we didn't actually see it I enjoyed the countries fascination with watching endless hours of a crowd of people biking together. If you watch it long enough its just one big orgy of follow the leader, yet I'm hooked. Go Yellow....I think.
And finally:
My ranking of Paris, France and Paris related nouns:
1) The Eiffel Tower
2) French bread
3) Notre Dame
4) Schwepps Lemon drink
5) Champs Elysee and Arc D'Triomphe
6) Techno Parade
7) Pulp Fiction scene about a Royale with Cheese
8) Musee D'Orsay
9) From Paris with Love
10) Paris hilton
Sorry no pics, but randomness remains above, and with that I say au revoir to Paris and Hoy! to Holland. Time to be Dutch for a month.
As always, Aloha means goodbye for now.
- Foxx
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Blogium
As I write this the guy across from me is gnawing on his nails with his eyes closed and frowning. It's a super intense nail biting sesh that hasn't been replicated since man licking shoes on subway (youtube it) has self grooming been brought to this level.
Well folks, its good to be back on the Euro blog. For those that are new to my blogosphere when I go on vacation Foxxtacklesthecity does too. So for next month, you can follow me, and all of the bloggy goodness here as Foxx once again, TACKLES THE GLOBE.
First stop: Belgium
Antwerp specifically, and I told myself over and over that I would not use this joke, but I'm gonna do it anyway, its filled with a bunch of twerps. For any belgian people reading this, you are not twerps, but I haven't been able to use that word for at least 10 years and I couldn't contain myself. I also saw Transformers 3 twice in theaters, did I need to see it a 2nd time, nope, but I couldn't contain myself. Whether it be using a near obsolete word or autonomous robots battling over a flimsy plot line, when the crave hits, I don't get White Castle, I go see a bunch of robotic twerps battle for 2.5 hours. (Sorry, horrible joke, lackluster paragragh, better than I expected movie)
But I digress. I really loved Belgium, and it wasn't because you could take in the entire country in one meal.
How to take in Belgium in one meal:
-Sit down and immediately light a cigarette
- order a beer (duval, chimay, vedette)
- complain about anything that you can possibly think of
- order mussels (aka Moules) with fries (fritjes)
- eat moules
- drown fries in mayonaise
- have a waffle covered in chocolate
- have another cigarette
And just like that, you have been to Belgium and back.
Antwerp definitely had its share of interesting moments and scenes though. Not only do they have a diamond district that rivals ours in NYC, but they are so obsessed with diamonds that they have a museum called Diamond town. There are Jews everywhere, which obviously goes hand in hand with the diamonds, but they are some hardcore orthodox Jews. We are talking people who carry hat boxes for the hat on their head. I felt only moderately at home, as I only had 1 hat, and no box for it....and it was a yankee cap....that I may or may not have used as a catfood tray at one point. Ok, well we both like matzah, that I'm sure of.
Did you know that Antwerp has the 3rd ranked most beautiful train station in the world, behind one that I can't remember, and Grand Central. Granted the inside of GC is gorgeous, but can you actually picture the outside of it? I can't, and don't say the Met life bldg either because that is neither pretty nor GC.
I lost another love of my life, my beloved beard trimmer. Damn, euro wattage! For 5 weeks I had a trimmed beard, now I'm back to looking like Joaquin Phoneix when he pretended to go crazy and inadvertently ruined his career. I see a similar future
for my own blog, but at this point your already committed so just keep reading.
In Antwerp, gangs travels together in white t shirts ala West Side Story. Ok, so I don't actually know if it was a gang, but when 9 dudes all walk past you in white tees (non V neck, the horror!) you just assume they are going to break out in choreographed dance, and they so did!.....not.
Brussels was the other city visited on my Belgium tour, and I must say the mussels from Brussels are all they are cracked up to be. They are succulent, fresh, and well prepared, then Jean Claude Van Damme told me to stop humping his leg. I told him I was the only person in America to see Sudden Death, he didn't like that, but I was. Seriously, how does a rogue off duty cop find his way onto the ice and hold the blackhawks scoreless for an entire period? Seriously? With no experience or even mention that he played ice hockey before. That's not what bothers me though, its that he leaves his kid in the stands for 2 periods while he tries to defuse a bomb, that's bad parenting. Honestly, the mussels were incredible, but Bloodsport was better.
Another thing I love about Belgium, all of Europe except Holland actually, is how they change the titles of movies. Larry Crowne becomes "It's never too late" (why they didn't just go with the name I have no idea, Battle: Los Angeles becomes Los Angeles: Maxium Alert. Hangover 2 is "Very Bad Trip", The Other Guys is "Very Bad Cops" and The Green Hornet is just renamed "Very Bad Movie"
One very unsettling thing about Brussels however is the garbage corollary, as in it doesn't exist. Numerous time I saw non-bums pick things out of the garbage and either eat them or put them in their pocket. A man drank half a coke and walked away, 10 minutes later another came by, shook the can, and downed the rest. A woman picked a flier out of a trash receptacle, shook off whatever was stuck to it, then folded it and put it in her bag. I'm all for waste nothing/recycle everything but this brings it to a whole new and disgusting level.
No random tangent because as you can can probably tell, the entire blog was a random tangent. No pic of the week either bc we have no comp to upload them on, but au revoir for now as Paris, France is calling.
Aloha means goodbye.
- Foxx
Well folks, its good to be back on the Euro blog. For those that are new to my blogosphere when I go on vacation Foxxtacklesthecity does too. So for next month, you can follow me, and all of the bloggy goodness here as Foxx once again, TACKLES THE GLOBE.
First stop: Belgium
Antwerp specifically, and I told myself over and over that I would not use this joke, but I'm gonna do it anyway, its filled with a bunch of twerps. For any belgian people reading this, you are not twerps, but I haven't been able to use that word for at least 10 years and I couldn't contain myself. I also saw Transformers 3 twice in theaters, did I need to see it a 2nd time, nope, but I couldn't contain myself. Whether it be using a near obsolete word or autonomous robots battling over a flimsy plot line, when the crave hits, I don't get White Castle, I go see a bunch of robotic twerps battle for 2.5 hours. (Sorry, horrible joke, lackluster paragragh, better than I expected movie)
But I digress. I really loved Belgium, and it wasn't because you could take in the entire country in one meal.
How to take in Belgium in one meal:
-Sit down and immediately light a cigarette
- order a beer (duval, chimay, vedette)
- complain about anything that you can possibly think of
- order mussels (aka Moules) with fries (fritjes)
- eat moules
- drown fries in mayonaise
- have a waffle covered in chocolate
- have another cigarette
And just like that, you have been to Belgium and back.
Antwerp definitely had its share of interesting moments and scenes though. Not only do they have a diamond district that rivals ours in NYC, but they are so obsessed with diamonds that they have a museum called Diamond town. There are Jews everywhere, which obviously goes hand in hand with the diamonds, but they are some hardcore orthodox Jews. We are talking people who carry hat boxes for the hat on their head. I felt only moderately at home, as I only had 1 hat, and no box for it....and it was a yankee cap....that I may or may not have used as a catfood tray at one point. Ok, well we both like matzah, that I'm sure of.
Did you know that Antwerp has the 3rd ranked most beautiful train station in the world, behind one that I can't remember, and Grand Central. Granted the inside of GC is gorgeous, but can you actually picture the outside of it? I can't, and don't say the Met life bldg either because that is neither pretty nor GC.
I lost another love of my life, my beloved beard trimmer. Damn, euro wattage! For 5 weeks I had a trimmed beard, now I'm back to looking like Joaquin Phoneix when he pretended to go crazy and inadvertently ruined his career. I see a similar future
for my own blog, but at this point your already committed so just keep reading.
In Antwerp, gangs travels together in white t shirts ala West Side Story. Ok, so I don't actually know if it was a gang, but when 9 dudes all walk past you in white tees (non V neck, the horror!) you just assume they are going to break out in choreographed dance, and they so did!.....not.
Brussels was the other city visited on my Belgium tour, and I must say the mussels from Brussels are all they are cracked up to be. They are succulent, fresh, and well prepared, then Jean Claude Van Damme told me to stop humping his leg. I told him I was the only person in America to see Sudden Death, he didn't like that, but I was. Seriously, how does a rogue off duty cop find his way onto the ice and hold the blackhawks scoreless for an entire period? Seriously? With no experience or even mention that he played ice hockey before. That's not what bothers me though, its that he leaves his kid in the stands for 2 periods while he tries to defuse a bomb, that's bad parenting. Honestly, the mussels were incredible, but Bloodsport was better.
Another thing I love about Belgium, all of Europe except Holland actually, is how they change the titles of movies. Larry Crowne becomes "It's never too late" (why they didn't just go with the name I have no idea, Battle: Los Angeles becomes Los Angeles: Maxium Alert. Hangover 2 is "Very Bad Trip", The Other Guys is "Very Bad Cops" and The Green Hornet is just renamed "Very Bad Movie"
One very unsettling thing about Brussels however is the garbage corollary, as in it doesn't exist. Numerous time I saw non-bums pick things out of the garbage and either eat them or put them in their pocket. A man drank half a coke and walked away, 10 minutes later another came by, shook the can, and downed the rest. A woman picked a flier out of a trash receptacle, shook off whatever was stuck to it, then folded it and put it in her bag. I'm all for waste nothing/recycle everything but this brings it to a whole new and disgusting level.
No random tangent because as you can can probably tell, the entire blog was a random tangent. No pic of the week either bc we have no comp to upload them on, but au revoir for now as Paris, France is calling.
Aloha means goodbye.
- Foxx
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