Blogium

As I write this the guy across from me is gnawing on his nails with his eyes closed and frowning. It's a super intense nail biting sesh that hasn't been replicated since man licking shoes on subway (youtube it) has self grooming been brought to this level.

Well folks, its good to be back on the Euro blog. For those that are new to my blogosphere when I go on vacation Foxxtacklesthecity does too. So for next month, you can follow me, and all of the bloggy goodness here as Foxx once again, TACKLES THE GLOBE.

First stop: Belgium
Antwerp specifically, and I told myself over and over that I would not use this joke, but I'm gonna do it anyway, its filled with a bunch of twerps. For any belgian people reading this, you are not twerps, but I haven't been able to use that word for at least 10 years and I couldn't contain myself. I also saw Transformers 3 twice in theaters, did I need to see it a 2nd time, nope, but I couldn't contain myself. Whether it be using a near obsolete word or autonomous robots battling over a flimsy plot line, when the crave hits, I don't get White Castle, I go see a bunch of robotic twerps battle for 2.5 hours. (Sorry, horrible joke, lackluster paragragh, better than I expected movie)

But I digress. I really loved Belgium, and it wasn't because you could take in the entire country in one meal.

How to take in Belgium in one meal:
-Sit down and immediately light a cigarette
- order a beer (duval, chimay, vedette)
- complain about anything that you can possibly think of
- order mussels (aka Moules) with fries (fritjes)
- eat moules
- drown fries in mayonaise
- have a waffle covered in chocolate
- have another cigarette
And just like that, you have been to Belgium and back.

Antwerp definitely had its share of interesting moments and scenes though. Not only do they have a diamond district that rivals ours in NYC, but they are so obsessed with diamonds that they have a museum called Diamond town. There are Jews everywhere, which obviously goes hand in hand with the diamonds, but they are some hardcore orthodox Jews. We are talking people who carry hat boxes for the hat on their head. I felt only moderately at home, as I only had 1 hat, and no box for it....and it was a yankee cap....that I may or may not have used as a catfood tray at one point. Ok, well we both like matzah, that I'm sure of.

Did you know that Antwerp has the 3rd ranked most beautiful train station in the world, behind one that I can't remember, and Grand Central. Granted the inside of GC is gorgeous, but can you actually picture the outside of it? I can't, and don't say the Met life bldg either because that is neither pretty nor GC.

I lost another love of my life, my beloved beard trimmer. Damn, euro wattage! For 5 weeks I had a trimmed beard, now I'm back to looking like Joaquin Phoneix when he pretended to go crazy and inadvertently ruined his career. I see a similar future
for my own blog, but at this point your already committed so just keep reading.

In Antwerp, gangs travels together in white t shirts ala West Side Story. Ok, so I don't actually know if it was a gang, but when 9 dudes all walk past you in white tees (non V neck, the horror!) you just assume they are going to break out in choreographed dance, and they so did!.....not.

Brussels was the other city visited on my Belgium tour, and I must say the mussels from Brussels are all they are cracked up to be. They are succulent, fresh, and well prepared, then Jean Claude Van Damme told me to stop humping his leg. I told him I was the only person in America to see Sudden Death, he didn't like that, but I was. Seriously, how does a rogue off duty cop find his way onto the ice and hold the blackhawks scoreless for an entire period? Seriously? With no experience or even mention that he played ice hockey before. That's not what bothers me though, its that he leaves his kid in the stands for 2 periods while he tries to defuse a bomb, that's bad parenting. Honestly, the mussels were incredible, but Bloodsport was better.

Another thing I love about Belgium, all of Europe except Holland actually, is how they change the titles of movies. Larry Crowne becomes "It's never too late" (why they didn't just go with the name I have no idea, Battle: Los Angeles becomes Los Angeles: Maxium Alert. Hangover 2 is "Very Bad Trip", The Other Guys is "Very Bad Cops" and The Green Hornet is just renamed "Very Bad Movie"

One very unsettling thing about Brussels however is the garbage corollary, as in it doesn't exist. Numerous time I saw non-bums pick things out of the garbage and either eat them or put them in their pocket. A man drank half a coke and walked away, 10 minutes later another came by, shook the can, and downed the rest. A woman picked a flier out of a trash receptacle, shook off whatever was stuck to it, then folded it and put it in her bag. I'm all for waste nothing/recycle everything but this brings it to a whole new and disgusting level.

No random tangent because as you can can probably tell, the entire blog was a random tangent. No pic of the week either bc we have no comp to upload them on, but au revoir for now as Paris, France is calling.
Aloha means goodbye.
- Foxx