Switzerland, what an awesome country. Just stunning. Every 5 minutes or so I would point at something and say "doesn't that look like Pandora!" Every city is more picturesque then the last and the sights are incredible. Just massive amounts of rolling hills, mountains with snow capped peaks, mists of fog everywhere and gorgeous water falls and lakes that are extremely clear and almost green, the good green, not pollution green. This was all even more evident in today's hike through the waterfalls. Just an absolutely fantastic place that I don't want to leave.
Switzerland, Interlaken especially, may be the home of extreme sports but it is the home of extreme expenses. This country is just crazy expensive, everything just costs so much, even above New York prices. Not interesting but worth mentioning if anybody reading wants to visit the Swiss. So make sure you save up, but trust me, it is worth it. Just unbelievable sights and activities.
Switzerland is neutral, as in they don't start fights or fight back. The people aren't mean, nor are they super nice, just neutral. They are the home of the UN, how much more neutral can you get? With all of this neutrality however why were they the villains then in Cool Runnings? Of course they were the best bobsled team in the olympics, but they were also the meanest to those fun loving Jamaicans. Josef Grul may have been the best bobsled driver in the world, but his attitude towards Derice and the boys was just flat out aggresive. That doesn't exactly scream neutral, but you know who was neutral, the Americans. Not only did they give them their practice bobsled, but they also forgave Wolf Blitzer for his infamous cheating incident from the 78 olympics. The ironic part of all of this, if anything America is never neutral, we are the bullies of world politics, negotiations and warfare. The Swiss meanwhile (except for that dick Grul) have been nothing but an upstanding country. Their flag is even has the first aid symbol (actually the sign of neutrality) representing them. But onto more important matters, how 4 young men from Jaimaca changed the hearts of even the darkest men in Switzerland. Let me lay out some difficulties that they had for you. Snow: they didn't have any. It's nine hundred degrees out there. Time: they didn't have any. The Olympics were in three months. And Irv: As far as he was concerned, the sport of bobsledding no longer exists. He didn't want to do it, coach it, and most of all, and I mean most of all, he didn't want to be within two thousand miles of anybody who does. Now did you follow all that? When does pesky Rasta heads nobody liked them, and you know why because "We're different. People are always afraid of what's different". Then Grul came around warning them about Number Twelve turn. Which was "Scary, ja?". But nevertheless Junior and Yul saw a a bad-ass mother who don't take no crap off of nobody and got there revenge in a bar room brawl. When they crashed though and carried the sled through the finish line, guess who was the first person there slow clapping for them? Grul, that's who? Was he happy about it, nope, sad? Nope, angry? Maybe a little, but neutral, you bet.
Yup, I kinda like that movie.
After a grueling day of the high ropes course I ran into a guy just waiting for his next acitivity, Bungy jumping. Mine, napping. As I walked away about to nap the crap out of the late afternoon I heard him say "you only live once." 4 hours later I'm standing 450 feet off the ground in a Gondola with him and 10 other US soldiers. "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die. The ground is hurtling at me really fast, did I set this weeks fantasy line up? I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, wait I feel a tug, I'm attached to a rope! I'm gonna live!" Except insert 8 seconds of high pitched girly screams instead. Invigorating, euphoric and sick was the best way to describe it.
The next day we all went Canyoning, which is essentially being dropped inside a 300 foot water canyon for an afternoon. The only way out, sliding down waterfalls, jumping into random pits of water 30 feet off the ground, and rappeling down rocks. It was sick! beyond crazy and one of the most extreme things I've ever done in my life. What nutty Swisser originally decided that jumping off cliffs into water with unknown dephs and sliding down rocks from earth-made water slides was smart? Regardless, my hats off to you sir, that was epic. Also a special shout out to Dionne and Laura who were the only 2 girls on the trip of 22 that did not want any part of the afternoon but powered through like true soldiers. I owe you Laura, and I know it. Burger King on me baby.
Weird food of the week: 3 Species Burger. Bun, lettuce, tomato, onion, ketchup, burger, fried chicken, 4 strips of Bacon, bun. Intense.
Speaking of those 10 soldiers, let's play a little game called "Can I name all my new friends?"
Aaron, Steve, Leon Lee, Ernie, Jameson, Michael, Ian aka young Stephen Baldwin, Dewey, Anthony, and umm uhhh Boy I don't know. Crap, so close.
9 really awesome and jacked up dudes....and Dewey. All of them with perfect chins, and shredded abs....and Dewey. Nothing makes you feel really fat more than being surrounded by 82 pectorals...and Dewey. I totally bought a scale since then.
I am not gonna lie though, I was intimidated, if they weren't screaming about MEAT they were imitating Ultimate Warrior youtube videos. I get it guys, the warrior gets a rocket, puts fuel in it and fills it with more Warriors. After all my stupid questions were over though I was accepted into their brotherhood. What stupid questions you ask? Have you killed anybody? Do you play Modern Warfare? Have you seen Transformers? Do you play fantasy football? - No (but some assists), Yes, Yes, No.
Our last night while pregaming before the club we were screaming about the usual past quiet hours when one of the hostel attendants came in and instead of reprimanding us about being loud, took one look around the shirtless room and said "Not even close" and walked out. You guys truly made my last weekend unforgettable. Just awesome dudes fighting for our country, inhaling protein and slaying dragons aka fat chicks.
Oh and one more thing, icing the crap out of each other. Talk about bros icing bros, they took it to another level. All ice, all the time. For example: right before we bungy jumped Dewey put 8 ices on the table. I can only imagine what the hostel cleaners thought when they saw 6 dudes sharing a room but a garbage can filled to the brim with nothing but smirnoff Ice.
Here's a list of the more creative icings of the weekend:
The trap - giving an ice to someone knowing that they are holding one, just to suprise them with another ice back because the whole time you were holding two.
The shower - sliding a ice right into the suds.
The check in - being presented with an ice when getting your room key by the hostel attendant.
The pillow - hiding an ice in your pillow.
The goat - doing "the goat" but with a smirnoff there instead.
The sandwich - two pieces of bread, a slice of cheese, and an ice. (And my go to move of the weekend)
The message from god - an ice tied to a string and dangled from above.
The mine field - ices strategically planted all over the room.
After all the time this past weekend spent on one knee though, At this point, Just like the Swiss, I'm kinda neutral to the taste.
To my fans, thanks again for reading and I hope you continue to follow when I continue blogging during the school year.
It was an awesome trip and as amazing as it was, in the immortal words of Captain Anthony "I want to go home."
Auf Wiederluege
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