The Human Zoo

Just because I have blond hair and blue eyes does not me an alien nor a freak show. Having a mullet on the other hand does, but that's for another blog. We are currently in the very small, very sheltered, and very remote town of Faeto, Italy taking in some of the more ancestral parts of Laura's extended family.

Few things you need to know about Faeto: You will not find it on a map
It takes all of 45 minutes to explore
No one is above 8 or under 80.
And they have never seen a dutch jew in their life.

I take pictures of the scenery, they take pictures of me. I have never seen so many people stop what they were doing and stare at me. I know that they have never seen a Dutch Jew before, but now I am starting to think they have never seen someone blond before either. I am positive that we are the talk of the town. "There is an italian girl walking around here, and she has some foreign creature with her, and get this, he's a blond American!" "What should we do?" "Point, stare, and say Buongiorno" "Perfect, he won't know what to say next"

Even the dogs stare at me, and I am not kidding, they are literally stopping what they are doing and quizzically focus on the strange rectangle trying to pet them.

A part of me wants to scream "Take your paws off me you dirty wop!" And all the time Laura is just chatting away with them as if I don't exist, but I know she is talking about me. I am here, Faeto, and the bus doesn't leave for 2 more days!!! You can find me in room 104, a euro will buy you some face time, 2 euros will buy you a dance, and me a beer. Just call me "The token American."

Things you will not find in Faeto:
movie theater or any type of theater of its kind
Paved roads
People under 80
mayor (most likely)
Night/dance club
hospital
pharmacy
Electricity (just kidding)
The olympics
Budweiser
Americans like me

Another thing that I have noticed is that I tend to stand as close as humanly possible to garbage at all times. It is not as if I want to go swimming in it, but rather unequivocally find myself drawn to it. Possibly because the smell is most closely related to my own pungent body odor, but I think the real reason is because I am guy who likes to lean on stuff. And when you waiting for a bus or train, what's the most accessible thing to lean on that can always be found around there. Yes, a pole or map would probably be more hygienic and provide better back support, but there is something about putting your elbow around a swarm of bees and overflow of cigarette butts and empties. Everytime too, its like a natural instinct, and the worst part, I don't even consider moving until Laura goes "what are you doing?" So today, I decided to sit on a bench while I waited for a bus, and it took all my energy to make that decision. Yup, this is what I think about on vacation.

Since I have not been on the internet in weeks, judging by podcasts "The Miami Cheats" are by far my favorite new nickname for the big 3, although ironically they did nothing wrong....other than ruin Lebron's legacy. Speaking of ironic, my favorite pizza thus far is from a restaurant in Croatia, not Italy. That better change, I'm counting on you Naples.


One thing that I must say is amazing about Croatia and Italy is the ice cream, actually its gelato, but its cheap, delicious and has flavors usually never seen like Tiramisu, peanut and toe fungus.


Book count: Johan 5, laura 12. officially on its way to being a blow out.

1 more day here before heading off to Naples. Thankfully the one bar in town has Italian beer for 1.50 euro which should keep us occupied for the majority of tomorrow as long as we don't run out of two man drinking games. Then the locals will really have something to take pictures of.

Ciao!!